Everyone Could Use a Dose of Trauma

Everyone will more than likely have something traumatic happen at least once in their lifetime. Anyone who goes through trauma can benefit from. I know it sounds harsh and I would never want anyone to know the agony of trauma or P.T.S.D. but there is a huge advantage that comes from healing and surviving. When you are at the beginning of recovery it is hard to acknowledge there are any benefits but there is one really big one. You are given a chance to start new and build from the ground up.  It is a chance to re-program yourself.  Although I would never wish this on anyone, everyone could benefit from this type of resetting at least once in an adult lifetime, unfortunately most of the time it comes from going through trauma and nobody in their right mind would choose to go through it.

When you have a traumatic event happen such as a betrayal in your marriage AKA D-Day your whole world crumbles to the ground and flips upside down.  I survived it once and I will survive again. Click to see my story. This  time around I have a better appreciation for how I get a chance to rebuild myself. Going through this allows me some time to do some inner work and self-reflection. When everything has been taken away you can start to pick and choose exactly what you want to build with.

When you go through betrayal trauma you question everything you had ever learned throughout your life. You end up second guessing all your previous beliefs and you second guess everything you had thought, felt and learned. We all are aware how we are programmed in early childhood and throughout our young adult life.  When you suffer trauma, all of what was programmed into you, is suddenly erased.  Poof, gone!  Everything you ever thought is now a question, you suddenly have thousands of questions. This is your chance to answer those questions with a more careful, diligent and thoughtful way then you had previously.  You have a chance to reprogram yourself and start over from the beginning.  It is a huge deal to be given a brand-new foundation on which to build.  You get to build yourself how you want and not how you were taught to be. This is your chance to dream and dream big!

The toughest part going through the healing is the grieving for what you used to be, what you thought was going to happen, the loss of a relationship, safety, family, home,etc.  Although trauma is a devastating thing to go through, when you do make it through the first couple years after you will find that you are better and happier than you have ever been.  If you are careful how you manage the symptoms from the trauma you end up being a person with unimaginable strength and inner peace. It may seem impossible right now but there is some hope at the end of all this.  You might even forgive the person who betrayed you or be thankful the trauma happened.

‘Trauma creates change you don’t choose. Healing is about creating change you do choose.”

Michelle Rosenthall

Passenger on a Train (At Home Therapy Exercises EMDR) Part 7

When you suffer from betrayal trauma and/or PTSD it can be very overwhelming to be in public places.  There could be a million different things that can cause triggers that send you into a downward spiral that is hard to get out of. For a better description of what it is like click here. Below is another tool I use when I am at home or in a public place.

When I am out in a public place I can and will get triggered by lots of things. There are over a million things that can trigger me  I learned to be a “Passenger on a Train”.  I visualize my train down to every little detail. It is good to get a good visualization of your train before you are in a public place.  Make sure your train has a window you can open so you can hear the noises too.  It is also important to smell the smells as you travel on this train. When you are getting triggered you can put yourself as a “Passenger on a Train”.  Watch the trigger go by from right to left or left to right.  Smell the smells, hear the noises and feel them go by as you travel on your train. The idea is to train your brain to take your triggers and process them in a way where you acknowledge them but do not let the feelings send you into that dreadful downward spiral.

The hardest part about this tool and other tools is to remember you have them available. Make sure you keep a list of different tools and exercises that work for you. This list should always be handy.

“You will never be the same, but you can be better.” -Lauren Beth