I have been taking it easy the last couple days. It is hard for me to say that since I am not one to take it easy. This round of healing has taken everything out of me. Everything! The healthcare system has failed to act quickly (no surprise). I have been without professional care for almost two months. Every minute and every second of the time my heart is pounding. My heart wants to jump out of my body. I can’t breathe, I stop breathing, I feel pain in my chest. It is amazing how much our body takes a hit when we suffer mentally.
When I went through betrayal 3 years ago, I suffered from a lot of physical ailments. The worse was my stomach. I lost 50 pounds, it was hard to eat a lot and my choices in food that settled well were limited. I had to take medicine for it for a year and a half. This time around I am getting the stomach problem again. I am losing a lot of weight, I can tell from my clothes. I am terrified to weigh myself. For right now weight loss is just more evidence of how much I have been beat. But to top it off I am getting the Broken Heart Symptoms. I always thought that was just a saying until I had an actual broken heart. It hurts! It is real and can cause permanent damage. Please pay attention to your body when you go through mental problems. The below link is a good article on a broken heart.
I am thankful I mustered enough energy to post something today.
“If all you can do is crawl, then crawl.”