Today I had a test. It was a tough one I had studied and practiced for a couple months. I think I passed. It all depends on which part of me you are asking.
I had to come face to face with two of the other woman. There are special gross circumstances when it comes to these two but I will leave the details out in case you are eating food.
I think I handled myself pretty well since I made a promise to not let them know I know and I cannot kill them. Believe me they will get theirs and they will get it good. It is all about timing with these two.
Do you know how hard it is to keep my composure? Freaking impossible, but I still managed to do it. This is a skill someone who has been through trauma has mastered. We can keep a cool composure at the same time be falling apart inside.
All I know is I am not the only one who has to come face to face with the other woman and not kill them. It is a tough situation and I do not wish it on anyone in the whole world.
Keep battling friends.
I have had a gun held to my head with a bullet in the chamber and finger on the trigger more than a handful of times. I have been choked multiple times. I have been held down by a larger and stronger body. I have been blocked so I could not leave a room. I have had multiple bruises all over my body. I have been called things I am not. I have been accused of doing things I did not do. I have had things I love taken away from me and held for ransom. I have been in the passenger seat of a car while the driver went 135 miles per hour swerving and yelling that we were both going to die. I have had my car taken. I have been told I would never see my kids again. I have been told the only way out was death. I have had to cover up marks on my face. I have been lied to. I have seen a gun held to someone’s head threatening killing themselves on multiple occasions. I have been cheated on over and over again. I have had money withheld from me. I have had to keep secrets. I have done things that I am not proud of out of fear. I have not been able to choose my own friends. I have had very little if no contact with my family. I have lost my best friend. I have had my privacy invaded. I have had someone question my clothes. I have had someone question the smell of my body. I have been told I was loose down there. I have been told I was never beaten because that is the only thing considered abuse. I have been bitten on my leg. I have been blamed for injuring my attacker when all I was doing was protecting myself.