When you suffer from betrayal trauma and/or PTSD it can be very overwhelming to be in public places. There could be a million different things that can cause triggers that send you into a downward spiral that is hard to get out of. For a better description of what it is like click here. Below is another tool I use when I am at home or in a public place.
When I am out in a public place I can and will get triggered by lots of things. There are over a million things that can trigger me I learned to be a “Passenger on a Train”. I visualize my train down to every little detail. It is good to get a good visualization of your train before you are in a public place. Make sure your train has a window you can open so you can hear the noises too. It is also important to smell the smells as you travel on this train. When you are getting triggered you can put yourself as a “Passenger on a Train”. Watch the trigger go by from right to left or left to right. Smell the smells, hear the noises and feel them go by as you travel on your train. The idea is to train your brain to take your triggers and process them in a way where you acknowledge them but do not let the feelings send you into that dreadful downward spiral.
The hardest part about this tool and other tools is to
remember you have them available. Make sure you keep a list of different tools
and exercises that work for you. This list should always be handy.
“You will never be the same, but you can be better.” -Lauren
I have had a gun held to my head with a bullet in the chamber and finger on the trigger more than a handful of times. I have been choked multiple times. I have been held down by a larger and stronger body. I have been blocked so I could not leave a room. I have had multiple bruises all over my body. I have been called things I am not. I have been accused of doing things I did not do. I have had things I love taken away from me and held for ransom. I have been in the passenger seat of a car while the driver went 135 miles per hour swerving and yelling that we were both going to die. I have had my car taken. I have been told I would never see my kids again. I have been told the only way out was death. I have had to cover up marks on my face. I have been lied to. I have seen a gun held to someone’s head threatening killing themselves on multiple occasions. I have been cheated on over and over again. I have had money withheld from me. I have had to keep secrets. I have done things that I am not proud of out of fear. I have not been able to choose my own friends. I have had very little if no contact with my family. I have lost my best friend. I have had my privacy invaded. I have had someone question my clothes. I have had someone question the smell of my body. I have been told I was loose down there. I have been told I was never beaten because that is the only thing considered abuse. I have been bitten on my leg. I have been blamed for injuring my attacker when all I was doing was protecting myself.