I HAVE. Author Unknown. A glimpse into domestic abuse.

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I have had a gun held to my head with a bullet in the chamber and finger on the trigger more than a handful of times. I have been choked multiple times.  I have been held down by a larger and stronger body.  I have been blocked so I could not leave a room.  I have had multiple bruises all over my body.  I have been called things I am not. I have been accused of doing things I did not do.  I have had things I love taken away from me and held for ransom.  I have been in the passenger seat of a car while the driver went 135 miles per hour swerving and yelling that we were both going to die. I have had my car taken.  I have been told I would never see my kids again.  I have been told the only way out was death. I have had to cover up marks on my face.  I have been lied to. I have seen a gun held to someone’s head threatening killing themselves on multiple occasions.  I have been cheated on over and over again. I have had money withheld from me.  I have had to keep secrets. I have done things that I am not proud of out of fear.  I have not been able to choose my own friends.  I have had very little if no contact with my family. I have lost my best friend. I have had my privacy invaded.  I have had someone question my clothes.  I have had someone question the smell of my body.  I have been told I was loose down there. I have been told I was never beaten because that is the only thing considered abuse. I have been bitten on my leg. I have been blamed for injuring my attacker when all I was doing was protecting myself.

Author- Unknown

EMDR & Home Therapy Exercises Part 5 “Chores”

I have learned a lot over the last 3 ½ years when it comes to what works when I am overwhelmed with triggers and heavy emotions. Some of the worse times for triggers are when I am doing household chores. A good example is when I do the dishes. I go on auto pilot when doing them and that is when the thoughts, triggers and emotions sneak in.  All the everyday chores a Mom must do are the type of chores I would have the hardest time with all the thoughts coming up. At any given moment of any day you could catch me balling my eyes out, frozen from the hurt, paused in time, in the middle of doing a chore.   

A little over a year and half ago during an appointment with my EMDR therapist I learned what to do when I was doing household chores to help process all the triggers I was having.  At the time I was having a hard time at work.  I was having to open boxes upon boxes of wood flooring.  My therapist brought up using a cross body motion to slice the boxes open.  The next day I sliced those boxes open with passion.  After the relief I received from this I started to implement the same thing to all chores I did.  After this second D-DayI am using this same therapy tool again. 

The way to do this exercise is simple.  When you are doing everyday household chores turn them into a chore where you use your body in a left to right rhythm. This is very similar to when Daniel in The Karate Kid does the “Wax on and wax off.” If you are unable to do the whole-body rhythm use your left hand, then switch to your right hand. A good example is when I vacuum, I push the vacuum with my left arm and pull back with my right. When I do dishes, I make sure I am passing the dish from one hand to the other. When cleaning counter tops I do the same thing.   I try to get the largest left to right motion and keep at a good fast paced rhythm. I allow all the triggers to come at me. I don’t try to control my thoughts or emotions. They tend to go as fast as they come when I would normally go on a roller coaster ride with my thoughts. As long as I keep a good pace, the thoughts are getting processed the way my brain can handle it best and in turn keeping myself from suffering anymore physical ailments.

This is a great way to process your thoughts and get them “filed away neatly” in your brain. I have noticed while going through this second recovery round I am having an easier time processing my triggers and find myself naturally doing the exercises and tools I learned from before.  When you practice all the different at home therapy exercises and tools you develop a second nature to processing your triggers that can provide some relief.    

Link to all At Home Therapy Tools