My New Reality

My life has taken a complete turn the last 48 hours. I was married for a little over 20 years. I have been married ever since I was 18. Still to this day my husband is the only one I have had sex with. My husband was the most dedicated and loving father and husband for 17 years until his first affair, which eventually ended up turning into a sex addiction and multiple affairs with all sorts of whores. Since then things have only gotten worse. Between his drug use and his Morbid Jealousy I had to make a run for it before he killed me.

I am now sitting here a single Mom with 3 children in a hotel room while my husband is in jail for domestic violence. I have nobody but my Mom in another state. My family that I married into has completely turned their back on me and my children when they know better. They were witness to his escalating mental behavior and violence towards me.

I remember the first time he admitted to doing Meth. It was October 29th, 2017. He had a Halloween Party the night before for the Motorcycle club he was in. That is the day everything took a turn for the worse when it came to our home life and the way he treated me and his kids.

I honestly held on too long as many survivors of domestic violence do. I kept waiting for my husband to become the man he was the first 17 years of our marriage. I am so saddened that it came to this. But the last straw was when he almost killed me while our 3 children witnessed some and heard most of the assaults.

Since November of 2017 we have been doing nothing but fighting. I hope one day he will recover and we can have at least a happy family unit. But for now it looks very hopeless as his family is only feeding his mental problems. It is a tremendously sad day for me.

I will be posting as much as I can because it is important to document what it is like as I journey through this for the first time as there has been many before me and there will be many after me.

Motor Cycle Club, Harleys & the Local Bar Flies

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I really wanted to write about this sooner but thought it may be best to wait a couple days so that I may not release ugly things that did not need to be said.  I sat on it for a few days and I am still as pissed off as I was the first day I found out. So here it goes.

Let me start this by saying I never ever enjoyed bars.  I never have, and I never will.  Being a highly sensitive person (HSP) I have difficulty being in an establishment like a bar. I feel all the good and bad energy that has ever happened in that place, all at once.  I read every single person.  I know what they were like as a child, how many kids they have, how many marriages, if they are good or bad.  For the most part bars are the worse.  Don’t think I am coming down on all bars, I am sure there are some bars I would enjoy. There are things I can do to make sure I enjoy my time in bars. I can drink alcohol, listen to loud music and take breaks outside to regain my energy. I believe you could have quoted me something like this “Why the hell do people go into those disgusting low life places?”   Well, I WAS RIGHT and I will forever stand by my saying. For those locals and the bar flies that like to follow me, mainly because they have nothing better to do than look at local motorcycle club members as celebrities, if you see me in your establishment just know I am not there to have a good time.  I am there for business just as my Husband and I have always done while he was in the club.

When my husband joined a motorcycle club after the first D-Day  Click here for more info I made a point to support him in his membership of the club.  One of the original reasons he cheated was because he felt he had no freedom to do what he wanted, which in hindsight was not true but that is another topic.  For 3 years we lived a “biker” lifestyle.  We loved it and I found it as a good way to get over his infidelity.  Yeah well if you know my infidelity story you would know that I was played as a fool and this is yet another topic.

What I really wanted to address is the local bar flies ( you know who you are.)  I find it amazing how much bull crappy rumors are spread by you bottom dwellers .  It is appalling that there is so much untrue chatter going around.   Come on,, you know better.  I understand  you are drunk when you are in the bars but use some common sense and try not to tarnish a marriage and family more than they have already been.  It is already a tough thing being a spouse of a member but why the F&*^ would you make it worse?  Please do what most bar flies do; play pool, watch football, play darts, etc. Turning peoples lives into soap operas is the lowest of the low and only expectant from high schoolers.

Special note to a couple woman whom I am still not done learning about who have big mouths and loose pussies, keep your mouth shut and legs closed to married men. If he has a ring or is known to be married, stay away and do not run your mouth until you have heard from both sides. You are going to quickly become the “road hard and put away wet” whores. Lower than the hookers.

Also, there is a special must-read letter to a bartender named Melissa (see letter below) whom took it upon herself to make up our soap opera life and spread untrue rumors.  You are even lower then the lowest of all.  Worse than the homewreckers and the hookers.  My harsh words and feelings also go out to her friend an owner of a bar.  Miss Caroline you too are called as the lowest of the town. I am appalled there are even people out there like you.  Sisterhood ladies! Guess what? You messed with a sister that won’t stay quiet about your big mouths aka lady snitch. You will see your karma and I take satisfaction in knowing it is already in place.

 


Dear Local Bartender Melissa,

I don’t know you but apparently you know more about my personal life than I ever did.  Let me tell you this!  You are worse than the homewreckers who screwed my Husband and other husbands. I find it amazing that you must gossip about a local motorcycle club member and his family (3 children) as if we are some reality TV soap opera.  I am sure that are other things you can gossip about. Maybe you can talk about how your big mouth should stay quiet and do what it knows how to do, suck!

I am sure you could have asked the husbands wife for her side of the story before you so blatantly started spreading rumors and adding to a man’s sex addiction and marital problems. You are even lower than the cockroaches in the New York Subways. I am ashamed you have a vagina and are out there representing females!! You really need to be booted off this planet.  I will have fun knowing karma is being served and it will never stop.

Have a good life and keep your man tight!

Sincerely,

Appalled