Is it okay to discuss your relationship with someone outside the relationship?

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There is a common problem seen in marriages when one partner cheated.  Sometimes the wandering spouse seeks outside advice from friends, family or even strangers. Everyone has overheard or been part of someone discussing their marriage when the spouse was not around.  In most cases the discussion is about something negative about their partner.  In my own case, my spouse would discuss our marriage with people who didn’t even know me. They would feed into his beliefs. Such beliefs as “all woman are bi sexual” or “all people cheat”. For someone who suffers from a mental illness these people offering advice only caused more illness and/or pain to him and his family. 

The most damaging thing you can do in a marriage, even before there may be adultery is talking about or asking for advice about your marriage from outsiders.  People tend to talk to their friends, family, co-workers, or anyone who may hear them out. The way the conversation goes all depends on who they are talking to.  The best thing to do if there is trouble in your marriage is to seek professional help.   

But what do you do if you are unable to get professional help?  There are times you may talk about your marriage with others such as your Mom or best friend. There is nothing wrong with this if you talk about the conversation with your spouse later. It is never okay to keep that conversation hidden from your spouse.   You need to give your spouse a chance to insert their thoughts about that conversation. It is a very good idea to avoid talking to people who think negatively about your spouse or people who have ulterior motives. Another option is to seek help online from trusted relationship websites. 

If you are one for the friends or family members you are lending ears please be careful how you reply to the persons thoughts.  You are never in possession of all whole truth.  It is absolutely never okay to insert your personal thoughts when you know nothing about the other partner.  You are passing judgement on something you know nothing about.  There is all different sides of the truth.  There is her side, his side and the truth.  We all need to be careful when offering  advice on relationships.

“Come on!” Having sex with a married man wasn’t enough?!

I have witnessed some horrible human behavior throughout my life.  But this last episode of “Come On! Are you that stupid?” has got me thinking “Is every homewrecker really that dumb?”  I have heard horror stories but this last one takes the trophy for the dumbest I have dealt with. I am appalled that this woman even thinks she has a leg to stand on.

I have never met her, never talked to her. I had seen her at a large motorcycle camping party, where she avoided me and now, I know why.  I only messaged her a few times via social media prior to my knowing she had sex with my husband and multiple other married men along with a few brothers from my husband’s club. This lady is a serial homewrecker. She is known in the little motorcycle community of my town as the slut, a massage therapist with a happy ending among many other things.   There is not a single man on this earth who would be stupid enough to settle down with her.  She reeks rotting twat. Woman like this sicken me as they have no regard for humans at all. 

I used to feel bad for people like this and would make excuses for their behavior, but I am out of excuses and I am tired of being an innocent victim of their immoral behavior.  It is appalling a person like this would make up lies about the betrayed.  You already did a huge amount of damage.  Enough already!

There is one main reason I needed to write this rant out being you are called a home wrecker, you  screwed up a home and marriage by being one of the “other woman” there is no need for you to lash out at the betrayed for calling you out on what you clearly are.  If you don’t like the truth, then F off!  You should have learned to think before you act a long time ago, you are a grown adult.  You should never open your mouth or even worse put it in writing for all to see you harassing the betrayed with lies and stories when you haven’t even met the betrayed spouse or heard their side of the story.

I do not do my blog, website, and social media accounts for attention.  I have NEVER liked attention, if you need confirmation maybe you should talk to the “brothers”.  I am a person who helps others. That is my life mission.  I am taking something that makes me unable to live a normal life and turning it around to help others who are going through the same thing. The accusations from an uneducated dumb whore will not be tolerated by myself or my tribe.    

The amount and extent of the pain a betrayed spouse goes through is something unimaginable until you have been through it.  Studies show that PTSD from betrayal trauma is one of the hardest things to suffer from mentally.  It takes years to recover and you will never be the same.  To be a person who wants more pain on the betrayed makes you a special kind of evil.  I will enjoy watching karma do its magic.

To all my fellow survivors. You should never let one of the other women dictate anything. Thankfully in my case it was a calculative move that worked, and she buried herself (love it when this happens.)   Stand strong and tall fellow survivors!  You are and always will be the better person!