I have had a gun held to my head with a bullet in the chamber and finger on the trigger more than a handful of times. I have been choked multiple times. I have been held down by a larger and stronger body. I have been blocked so I could not leave a room. I have had multiple bruises all over my body. I have been called things I am not. I have been accused of doing things I did not do. I have had things I love taken away from me and held for ransom. I have been in the passenger seat of a car while the driver went 135 miles per hour swerving and yelling that we were both going to die. I have had my car taken. I have been told I would never see my kids again. I have been told the only way out was death. I have had to cover up marks on my face. I have been lied to. I have seen a gun held to someone’s head threatening killing themselves on multiple occasions. I have been cheated on over and over again. I have had money withheld from me. I have had to keep secrets. I have done things that I am not proud of out of fear. I have not been able to choose my own friends. I have had very little if no contact with my family. I have lost my best friend. I have had my privacy invaded. I have had someone question my clothes. I have had someone question the smell of my body. I have been told I was loose down there. I have been told I was never beaten because that is the only thing considered abuse. I have been bitten on my leg. I have been blamed for injuring my attacker when all I was doing was protecting myself.
Today I was reading an article about marriage and love/sex addiction on http://www.pschycology.com Several times throughout the article it mentioned the word commitment. Stating that both parties in a relationship need to be fully committed and even more important when infidelity is involved.
All our life we hear this word. Commit to school, commit to your job, commit to your paper, etc. We are always asked for our commitment. Ever since I first found out my Husband cheated, my whole world turned upside down and has never been the same since. Same with the word commitment being used for marriage. Commitment will never mean the same thing to me, especially after this recent D-Day.
Yeah sure I can give it my commitment. He can say he is committed but it doesn’t mean diddly shit. I have always gave it my all and I always will. But in all reality commitment is a one-way street. Using the word commitment for a marriage sounds like there is a mutual feeling. You have no idea if your partner is going to return the commitment even if they say they are. Of course, you are showing commitment. You know yourself. You never know others. I thought I knew my husband through and through. This is how betrayal hurts so much. We rely on someone else when we need to be relying on ourselves.
It all comes down to having a commitment to yourself and hope in turn your partner appreciates that, and you appreciate their commitment to themselves. This makes for two happy people in a relationship.