The Other Woman. Not worth the energy.

You must forget the otherwhores, skanks and homewreckers.  They are not worth your time.  

Just the same as your husband, they know what they did. They know they helped break a family and shattered children’s lives.  They helped break a marriage.  They helped destroy another woman.  They know they are not worthy of anything from humankind.  They know they are trash that doesn’t belong here on earth.  They torture themselves every day and will continue to be tortured for the rest if their lives unless some serious repenting is done.  The karma that these people receive is humongous. They will live their lives in misery with miserable people. 

Never let the others bother you. You are a skyscraper and they are ants.

My Why for Staying

Typical Friday Nite

The betrayed often feel ashamed or like they owe an explanation for why they either stayed or left the adulterer. The heavy pressure can be felt from family, society, community, or a social circle.  This pressure can become overwhelming and debilitating and wreaks havoc on an already fragile situation. It is important to remember that every marriage and relationship is different.  Everyone has different values and morals.  We all grieve what our relationship once was. We all grieve in different ways and at a different pace.  The one thing that we have in common is the deep down sick to the stomach feeling of betrayal.

I chose to stay with my husband even though lots of new revelations are out in the open and this second D-Day has taken its toll on me. There are over a dozen woman walking around locally that I will be confronting.  We were semi famous in a small town and there is gossip.  The magnitude of the damage is a lot larger in our small community we have lived in. I don’t owe anybody an explanation to why I am currently staying but I am going to give an explanation just so I feel better. Plus, being able to write it out is helpful. Another good reason is to get it written out is my therapist cancelled our appointment last week right after I just did the big “Sit down and ask session.” And I have some releasing I need to do.

I have been with my husband for 22 years.  We have 3 children together.  Our oldest 19-yr-old son has schizophrenia and is a Type 1 Diabetic, our 16-year-old daughter has Rheumatoid Arthritis and our youngest 7-year-old boy is very active and the most challenging of the children so far. My husband and I have been through hell and back with each other.  Is our relationship always great?  HECK NO!  Do the good times outweigh the bad times? HELL YES!  80% of our marriage has been pure love and bliss.  We are the perfect team.  Is this time going to be hard to overcome? Definitely! Is it possible I am making the wrong decision?  Maybe.  But no matter what I know I will be fine in the end no matter the outcome.

With everything we have gone through we have learned a lot about illnesses.  Just like our oldest son has schizophrenia and both our parents suffer from mental illnesses we recognize the last 4 years of behavior is partially due to an underlying mental illness.  We are still in the process of getting everything diagnosed but I cannot tell you how proud I am of my husband for taking the steps needed to get better.  After this second Discovery Day he has shown more remorse than he has ever in the past.  Everyday multiple times a day he is reassuring me that everything will be okay.  He holds me for as long as I need him to for my anxiety attack to go away.  He is more aware of what I am going through and does everything in his power to accommodate me including telling me some ugly truths that I am sure he never thought he would tell. So far, he is doing exactly what I have asked so that I can feel safe staying in this marriage.

If you came to a different conclusion for your own marriage my conclusion should not affect your reasoning at all.  Sometimes it is impossible to reason why we do what we do.  If you chose, you did the first major step which is deciding.  Whether it be stay or leave you made the decision for your own reason and you know what?  You will be okay.  It doesn’t feel like it but rest assured you will be okay.

Motor Cycle Club, Harleys & the Local Bar Flies

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I really wanted to write about this sooner but thought it may be best to wait a couple days so that I may not release ugly things that did not need to be said.  I sat on it for a few days and I am still as pissed off as I was the first day I found out. So here it goes.

Let me start this by saying I never ever enjoyed bars.  I never have, and I never will.  Being a highly sensitive person (HSP) I have difficulty being in an establishment like a bar. I feel all the good and bad energy that has ever happened in that place, all at once.  I read every single person.  I know what they were like as a child, how many kids they have, how many marriages, if they are good or bad.  For the most part bars are the worse.  Don’t think I am coming down on all bars, I am sure there are some bars I would enjoy. There are things I can do to make sure I enjoy my time in bars. I can drink alcohol, listen to loud music and take breaks outside to regain my energy. I believe you could have quoted me something like this “Why the hell do people go into those disgusting low life places?”   Well, I WAS RIGHT and I will forever stand by my saying. For those locals and the bar flies that like to follow me, mainly because they have nothing better to do than look at local motorcycle club members as celebrities, if you see me in your establishment just know I am not there to have a good time.  I am there for business just as my Husband and I have always done while he was in the club.

When my husband joined a motorcycle club after the first D-Day  Click here for more info I made a point to support him in his membership of the club.  One of the original reasons he cheated was because he felt he had no freedom to do what he wanted, which in hindsight was not true but that is another topic.  For 3 years we lived a “biker” lifestyle.  We loved it and I found it as a good way to get over his infidelity.  Yeah well if you know my infidelity story you would know that I was played as a fool and this is yet another topic.

What I really wanted to address is the local bar flies ( you know who you are.)  I find it amazing how much bull crappy rumors are spread by you bottom dwellers .  It is appalling that there is so much untrue chatter going around.   Come on,, you know better.  I understand  you are drunk when you are in the bars but use some common sense and try not to tarnish a marriage and family more than they have already been.  It is already a tough thing being a spouse of a member but why the F&*^ would you make it worse?  Please do what most bar flies do; play pool, watch football, play darts, etc. Turning peoples lives into soap operas is the lowest of the low and only expectant from high schoolers.

Special note to a couple woman whom I am still not done learning about who have big mouths and loose pussies, keep your mouth shut and legs closed to married men. If he has a ring or is known to be married, stay away and do not run your mouth until you have heard from both sides. You are going to quickly become the “road hard and put away wet” whores. Lower than the hookers.

Also, there is a special must-read letter to a bartender named Melissa (see letter below) whom took it upon herself to make up our soap opera life and spread untrue rumors.  You are even lower then the lowest of all.  Worse than the homewreckers and the hookers.  My harsh words and feelings also go out to her friend an owner of a bar.  Miss Caroline you too are called as the lowest of the town. I am appalled there are even people out there like you.  Sisterhood ladies! Guess what? You messed with a sister that won’t stay quiet about your big mouths aka lady snitch. You will see your karma and I take satisfaction in knowing it is already in place.

 


Dear Local Bartender Melissa,

I don’t know you but apparently you know more about my personal life than I ever did.  Let me tell you this!  You are worse than the homewreckers who screwed my Husband and other husbands. I find it amazing that you must gossip about a local motorcycle club member and his family (3 children) as if we are some reality TV soap opera.  I am sure that are other things you can gossip about. Maybe you can talk about how your big mouth should stay quiet and do what it knows how to do, suck!

I am sure you could have asked the husbands wife for her side of the story before you so blatantly started spreading rumors and adding to a man’s sex addiction and marital problems. You are even lower than the cockroaches in the New York Subways. I am ashamed you have a vagina and are out there representing females!! You really need to be booted off this planet.  I will have fun knowing karma is being served and it will never stop.

Have a good life and keep your man tight!

Sincerely,

Appalled